Progress

I saw my internist today for a rash that I developed on Friday. At first I figured it was related to something I had gotten into while cleaning out the master bedroom closet. All of a sudden my chest started to hurt, my throat got tight and my arms were covered with a bright red rash. Being a nurse, and at times a professional patient, I told my husband that I needed to get out of the room. He helped me out, opened the windows and turned on the fan, while I medicated, showered and changed my clothes.
For the next three days that rash came and went, requiring antihistamines very four hours to keep it somewhat at bay. But that didn't keep me from working on the bedroom. Even though I try to be a cynic regarding our IVF prospects, I find myself getting ready. We need to repaint and revamp the master bedroom, so that has been my priority this weekend. We put up a new ceiling fan. Cleaned out the room, which used to belong to my girls, so it needed to be packed up and their stuff stored.
One is a senior in college, currently in Denmark on a summer college course. Young, she has studied every semester and will go on to graduate school this year.
Our other daughter is about to be married and has left behind half of her extensive anime collection. It overwhelms both of us, so my packing consists of such exciting box titles as "stuffed animals with tags", "anime action figures","graphic novels", etc.
While I clean and organize I visualize where the bed will fit and if there will be room for the cosleeper. The dresser is just the right height to double as a changing table, at least for nighttime use. The room is very bright, so I will have to get some room darkening curtains, I think to myself. This line of thought is very dangerous and I force myself to stop.
Today when I took my morning meds, my rash flared and I found it difficult to breath. The light finally went on and I realized that I had developed a new drug allergy. All can cause birth defects and all are on my list to change. So after an extra dose of benadryl, I finally saw the doctor who discontinued all three!
So now I will take a baby aspirin a day, which will work very well, will just use the glucophage only ,which I believe has been responsible for my now 53 pound weight loss,and try Norvasc to protect my blood vessels. Not sure how the Norvasc will work out but my goal is to get as many meds off my med list as possible and to get body and my house as ready as possible.
At the doctor's office today there was a patient with a two month old baby. My longing has been so buried that it has only been within the past six months that I have been able to look at my husband and say "I want one of those".
So progress on many fronts: progress at home, progress in my health and progress in my ability to say what is in my hearts greatest desire.
I am not sure if it will get me anywhere but it feels like progress to at least be trying.